


The Nature of Healing

by Sazzy260



Series: The Nature of Life [2]
Category: JAG, NCIS
Genre: Eventual Sex, Family, Healing, M/M, Out of Character, Romance, Team as Family, Tony DiNozzo & Jethro Gibbs Father-Son Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2019-02-11 03:29:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12926388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sazzy260/pseuds/Sazzy260
Summary: Need to know what you guys think:  When should Harm and Tony take that next step in their relationship and have sex?  Days, Weeks, Months etc?  I've never lost a husband/wife so I really don't know how long one really should wait (I get the whole 'it has to feel right' thing but when should it feel right? :S)





	The Nature of Healing

 

Tony sighed as he snuggled into the broad chest underneath him, Harm smiled as he wrapped one arm around Tony’s shoulder as he shut off the TV “That was a boring movie…” Harm commented as he tossed the remote back onto the coffee table, looking down at the top of Tony’s head.

 

Tony shrugged as he twisted the fabric of Harm’s shirt in his fingertips – He hadn’t been paying much attention to the movie, hell he didn’t even know what they were watching, which was rare since Tony was a self-proclaimed movie aficionado; instead his mind had been miles away, thinking about the man underneath him – It had been a week since their phone call and they still hadn’t talked and it was truly worrying Tony that maybe Harm was the one who really didn’t want this relationship, all those long-buried insecurities cropping up and taking root inside of his mind.

 

Harm felt Tony tense above him, sighing quietly he moved his hand to the nape of Tony’s neck, gently twisting the small hairs there “What seems to be troubling you?  You’ve been so quiet all night.” Harm said quietly, briefly glancing in the direction of Nick’s bedroom to make sure neither child would be waking up – He and Elizabeth had spent almost the entire day with Tony and Nick, and now both children were asleep in Nick’s room.

 

Tony shook his head as he slowly extracted himself from the warm embrace of Harm’s arms to sit up on the other end of the couch “I’m sorry, there is just a lot on my mind…” Tony said quietly, twisting his hands together as he stared blankly at the coffee table.

 

Harm sat up as well “Anything I can help you with?” Harm asked cautiously – He had an idea of what was coming, and he knew that now the conversation couldn’t be avoided, as much as he hated talking about his feelings, rather using action to get his point across, Tony was different somehow, he liked talking, even if sometimes he rambled aimlessly, things still always made sense in the end.

 

Tony shrugged as he propped his elbows onto his knees, cradling his head in his hands as he let out a shuddering breath “It’s been a week since our phone call, and we haven’t talked… like you promised we would.” Tony stated quietly, glancing over at Harm through slightly separated fingers.

 

Harm frowned as he reached over, taking one of Tony’s hands, pulling it away from his head “I know, and I’m really sorry that we didn’t talk – I’m here now though, and we can talk all you want.” Harm said as he reached up and gently cupped Tony’s cheek, smiling at the younger man confidently.

 

Tony nodded “What are we doing Harm?  Where do you see us going?  Aren’t you worried about your career?  Your daughter?  Ex-Wife?” Tony asked in rapid succession, his eyes widening slightly and his breath picking up some, his chest heaving slightly as he tried regaining some sense of composure on himself.

 

Harm’s brows furrowed as he thought about all of Tony’s questions “I’m not worried about my career, why should I be?  Because I’m dating a guy?  That has no bearing anymore, not with DADT being repelled two years ago, nobody can say anything against me, nor will they find anything in my past to try and destroy me now – I never dated another guy until… until you came along.” Harm started with the easiest of questions “My daughter?  I have no reason to worry about her, in this relationship at least – She likes you Tony and I’m glad that she does because her happiness is what matters most to me.” Taking a breath, Harm smiled slightly “My ex-wife knows I’m gay, that’s why we’re divorced now – She was beyond pissed off at me, at first I thought maybe that our attraction was something real, something that told me maybe I wasn’t gay… But it felt false to me, the attraction, the love, the only good that came out of Mac and I’s marriage was Lizzy, and yeah – I’ll always love her, but I’m never, nor do I think I ever was in love with Mac, it’s simple as that.” Harm said with a shrug as he slid an arm over the top of the couch as he turned to fully face Tony now.

 

Harm stayed quiet for a while, plucking at the afghan thrown over the back of the couch, he had a look of concentration on his face as he considered Tony’s more serious questions “If I’m being honest, I don’t know what we’re doing – I know that sounds bad, but like I said; you’re the first guy I’ve been in an actual relationship with, and Bobby Deegan from seventh grade doesn’t count because all we did was kiss, for like maybe three seconds and that was that – Yes, I’ve had sexual relationships with men after that, but nothing ever came of it… I know what I’d like us to be doing though, if that helps?” Harm asked, looking into the soulful green eyes of his companion.

 

Tony looked skeptical but he nodded his head – He did want to know, that’s what it all came down to was genuine curiosity for what the Admiral wanted out of this relationship, if that’s what it even was at this point.  Harm looked at Tony and smiled softly, he could see the doubt and skepticism so well, but he knew that with his next words that all of those fears would disappear, so he gently took Tony’s hand again, “I want for this between us – This relationship – I want it to work, I want it to work so badly that it hurts.  I’ve never been more afraid of… falling in love with someone, than what I am right now, in this very moment, because I am Tony, I am falling in love with you and it scares me to say it because as cliché as it is – It’s too soon, there hasn’t been enough time between…” Harm stopped and blinked a few times as his own emotions threatened to spill over.

 

Tony shook his head “enough time between Chris’ death, and I’m still getting over it?” Tony supplied and Harm nodded his head slowly.  Tony sighed as he leaned over, resting his head on Harm’s shoulder “I know there hasn’t been enough time, and yeah, maybe I am still trying to get over it but I know that I want to keep seeing you on a regular basis Harm… You make me feel alive again, normal… Human.” Tony whispered the last part, his eyes down and focused on their joined hands.

 

The silence between the two men stretched out for a while, neither really knowing what to say as the weight of their confessions hung between them like a solid form, both knew they had to break the silence but neither seemed willing to do so.  Tony eventually plucked up enough courage, lifting his head up he looked directly at Harm, “I know what truly falling in love feels like, and it is scary, but at the same time it is also very rewarding.  I’m scared too, Harm… Scared of so many things but not scared of enough things to worry so much anymore… I know what I want and it’s you, because I too am falling in love with you.” Tony said softly as he brought his hand up to Harm’s cheek, pulling the taller man closer to him as their lips touched in a tentative way.

 

Harm smiled into the kiss and slowly moved his hand up from Tony’s hand, slowly over his elbow, shoulder and then the side of his neck, gently holding him in place as their lips begin moving with more confidence.  They’ve kissed before, on their first date, one time – But this was different, this was… this was them, alone, able to express themselves without the interruption of either of their children.  Tony whimpered into the kiss, his fingers clutching at Harm’s shirt and pulling the older man closer, their tongues were dueling for dominance but neither man seemed intent on winning as they stroked and teased one another.

 

Harm was the first to pull away, even as Tony leaned forward to seek more of that delectable mouth.  Harm chuckled as he stroked his thumb over Tony’s cheek “You’re so beautiful…” Harm whispered, pressing his lips gently against Tony’s forehead.

 

Tony sniffled slightly as he curled up against Harm’s chest, his fingers still clutching to the older man’s shirt “We should probably get some sleep… Nick usually wakes up at five AM, and it’s already midnight…” Tony said softly as he looked up at Harm through thick lashes, smiling a bit as he caressed the firm pectoral muscles underneath his hand.

 

* * *

 

 

Tony woke up promptly at 4:45 AM the next morning, same as he did every morning because it gave him just enough time to wake up and get a cup of coffee in him before Nick woke up and started on expending that endless energy that only a three year old could contain within his body.  Tony stiffened when he felt a strong arm around his stomach and the warm body attached pressed firmly up against his back, trying his damnedest to remember the events of the night before.

 

Harm grumbled incoherently for a few seconds before fully waking up and glancing over Tony’s shoulder, having felt the younger man stiffen in his arms “Hey, you alright?” Harm asked, his voice rough and thick from sleep.

 

Tony let out an audible sigh of relief, then nodded his head, turning over in Harm’s arms and smiling up at the older man “Yeah, I am, actually… It’s just… Been a while since I’ve…” Tony frowned, shaking his head slightly “It’s been a while since I’ve actually slept with anyone else and it freaked me out a little, I didn’t mean to wake you up.” Tony whispered, bringing his hand up to gently stroke Harm’s cheek, still warm from sleeping.

 

Harm smiled as he turned his head, kissing the center of Tony’s palm before he scooted over the few inches that separated him and Tony, “It’s okay, I needed to wake up anyway.” Harm said softly as he kissed Tony gently on the lips, bringing his hand up and cupping the side of Tony’s neck gently, his thumb resting on Tony’s cheek.

 

Tony nodded as he snuggled into the warmth of the older man’s body, his knee slipping between Harm’s legs as they laid wrapped up in each other’s arms – This was definitely a much better alternative than drinking coffee. “Wish we didn’t have to go to work, I could so stay here all day with you.” Tony whispered as he nestled his head underneath Harm’s chin.

 

Harm chuckled as he kissed the top of Tony’s head lightly, “I know, that work thing seems to always get in the way of the good stuff.” Harm said as he tucked his hand underneath Tony’s shirt, reveling in the warmth radiating there as he gently rubbed into the younger man’s back.

 

As the two men laid there, cuddling and just breathing in each other’s scents, down the hall were four little feet making their way to the bedroom, trying their hardest to suppress their giggles as they entered the master bedroom.  Nick pushed his way into the room and crawled across the floor quietly, Elizabeth only a few steps behind him.  The toddlers pop up at the foot of the bed, giggling as they crawl up and land on top of their fathers, both men expelling a breath of air in an ‘oomph.’

 

“Daddy, we hungwy, can we has breakfast?” Nick asked, smiling as he pushed himself between Harm and Tony’s body, effectively putting distance between the two men. 

 

Elizabeth, as quiet as she was, she managed to push herself between the two men as well, snuggling against her father and smiling sleepy up at Harm “I hungwy too, pancake?” Elizabeth asked shyly, batting her eyelashes up at her father.

 

Harm glanced at his watch briefly, then over at Tony, ‘Think we have enough time?’ he mouthed to Tony, his finely manicured eyebrow rising just slightly in question.  Tony looked at his own watch, then nodded his head, smiling softly.  “Alright, we’ll have pancakes for breakfast then.” Harm said decisively as he rolled out of bed and then scooped Elizabeth into his arms.

 

* * *

 

 

While Harm was in the kitchen making his pancakes, Tony found himself sitting on the couch with his mug of Hazelnut coffee, Nick and Elizabeth were sitting on the floor and watching Thomas the Train together.  Elizabeth seemed to easily bore of the television show and toddled her way over to Tony, hoisting herself up into his lap and snuggling in close.

 

Tony startled slightly when the small blonde sat in his lap, but fatherly instinct easily took over as he set his coffee mug down on the end table and wrapped his arm around Elizabeth “You don’t like Thomas the Train?” Tony asked softly, running a soothing hand over Elizabeth’s back.

 

Elizabeth shook her head and turned bright blue eyes up at Tony, smiling a dashing smile that easily reminded him of her father “Nuh uh.  Thomas is for boys, Im’ma girl!” Elizabeth stated proudly as she snuggled into Tony’s chest again.

 

Tony smiled, nodding his head in understanding “How very true, I guess we’ll have to get you some DVDs of your own to watch here… What shows do you like?” Tony asked, keeping his voice pitched low so as to not disturb Nick – He definitely took after Tony in that regard, he was a ‘junior movie aficionado’ when it came to pretty much everything child related.

 

Elizabeth seemed to contemplate Tony’s question very seriously, a look of concentration on her face as she played with the sleeve of Tony’s sweatshirt “I like Dowa da esplorer and da ponies.” Elizabeth whispered shyly, as if telling Tony would somehow be bad for her to express the things that she enjoys.

 

Tony nodded thoughtfully as he brushed the soft baby blonde hair back from Elizabeth’s forehead “Okay so, the next time you come over, you’ll get to watch your favorites in the morning and Nicky will just have to live through it.” Tony said as he kissed the little girl’s forehead affectionately, turning his head up when he spotted movement in the kitchen doorway.

 

Harm had a fond smile on his face as he watched Tony and his daughter interacting, at first it was a shock to see Elizabeth snuggled in his lap and actually talking, given how shy the two-year-old was.  He was glad that Elizabeth was opening up to his partner, because she was his main priority and her happiness was all that mattered when it all boiled down, “Breakfast is ready.” Harm announced after a few minutes, smiling as Nick abandoned his TV show while Tony and Elizabeth came into the kitchen together, the little girl still securely wrapped up in Tony’s arms.  Yeah, things were definitely going to get better from here – He found someone that would open his eyes to new possibilities and he was absolutely ready for whatever life would throw at him.

**Author's Note:**

> Need to know what you guys think: When should Harm and Tony take that next step in their relationship and have sex? Days, Weeks, Months etc? I've never lost a husband/wife so I really don't know how long one really should wait (I get the whole 'it has to feel right' thing but when should it feel right? :S)


End file.
